Tuesday, October 14, 2008

GOD IS...

God is working in me. He has a plan, and He is in control. He is patient.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Update on me…what am I dealing with right now??? hhmm

It has been a while since my last real post. Not sure there is any real reason for it besides just not always knowing how to articulate what I am feeling or going through. In the past month, there have been different feelings; different seasons of life, I guess you could say.

About a month ago, I read The Shack. This book really touched my heart and has brought me in for a second read through. In an effort to not give details away to those who haven’t read it, I will just say that there are some lessons contained within that I can learn from. This book was probably the clincher to a culmination of events and circumstances that have occurred over the past 5 months, and it has served as an encouragement towards goals that have been set over the course.

Basically, as I said in an earlier post, I want to go deeper in my walk with the Lord. I want my relationship with God to ‘click’ (as I have described it to people) like my relationships with others ‘clicks’. Don’t ask me to explain what this means, because ‘click’ was the only word I could come up with my blog buddies… I guess it is just something that God and I will just have to understand together. But in the meantime, you can pray for me, as Keith does, and just use the word ‘click’ since God knows what I need. For now, I can offer this as further insight. I look at other people who seem so confident in Him and I want that. I know that I shouldn’t compare myself to others in that way since I really don’t know what is on the inside/what’s in their hearts, but I do sense a confidence about them regarding their relationship with Him. I hear them pray, “Come quickly Lord. How I want to be in your presence”. And, I think, “Give me more time Lord, I am not ready yet to be in your presence.” Does that make ANY sense at all? Basically, I have been asking God to reveal Himself to me; to show me that he loves me and cares about me, to give me that unwavering confidence in our relationship, and to get me to where He wants me to be.

So, that is where I am; what I am dealing with right now. Until later, MG

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Where am I?

Just to let you know, I am planning on posting again. I even have some ideas in my mind, so don't give up on me. Maybe I can get something together within the next week or so!

Monday, August 4, 2008

I'm "Divin' In"

God has been dealing with me lately regarding my relationship with Him. Through my devotions this past week or so, and through an incredible concert this past weekend, I realized that I am not as close to the Lord as I need to be. Let me explain…

As mentioned in a previous post, I read “My Utmost for His Highest”(MUFHH) almost every day. And, almost every day, the Lord uses it to encourage me or speak something else to my heart. Lately, I have been coming face to face with my own relationship with Jesus. As we are all aware, it is easy to get into a “rut” at times. In regards to my walk with the Lord, the “rut” sometimes looks like memorized prayers, reading for distance and not for depth, reading just to say that I read today, etc. I find myself being distracted and not spending quality time with Jesus, and I have been convicted about that in recent days through my readings in MUFHH.

Another conviction came to me loud and clear at an unbelievable concert Friday night. We were privileged to see Steven Curtis Chapman at the Biltmore House. For those who are not aware, Steven and his family have been through an unimaginable tragedy in the past 2 ½ months. Their little 5 year old daughter was tragically killed in May after being hit by a car in their driveway. Increasing the intensity of this tragedy was the fact that their precious son was driving the vehicle that accidently hit Maria. Many prayers have been lifted from my lips these past weeks on behalf of this family. So, to get to see Steven in one of his first concerts back on tour was a blessing. It was a night that I could not have even imagined, and I find it hard to even put into words. To see SCC on stage with such openness and vulnerability was an inspiration. To have a glimpse at his Faith in God was breathtaking.

As I listened to him share the deep struggle and the deep pain but the even deeper reassurance of Christ, my heart was pricked. My Faith was encouraged, and my desire to grow in my walk with Jesus was magnified. I realized that I need to go deeper with Christ. I need to be disciplined to spend more time with Him and to make that time quality time. Other things, even things that are good, need to take a back seat to my relationship with God. I want to know Him in a deeper way than ever before, to hear His voice, and to trust Him with everything. As I seek to do this, there will be distractions and temptations that will have to be overcome. But, I know that it will be worth it all.

I want others to see Jesus in me. I want God to use me and to continue to grow me as He reveals Himself through His Word. I want to fall in love with Him above all things.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Okay, Lord, I hear you...

As I have mentioned in previous posts, we have been praying about some decisions lately. One specific thing we were asking for direction on was whether or not to sell our house. This is a thought that has crossed our mind and that we have been praying about off and on for a while now, so when it came up again this time, the natural thing to do was to pray. And that we did.

As we prayed, I felt like we weren’t getting totally ‘clear’ direction, so we thought we would just make a decision based on logic and pursue that decision until God changed our direction. In the meantime, the desire to sell our house was growing and we were seeing some options of places to move. Hey, we even thought about buying a travel trailer and parking it down by the river… The idea of moving was becoming exciting and we just kept pursuing open doors. In an effort to take the next step, I phoned a realtor (that had been highly recommended) and set up a time to meet with him. It seemed that as soon as I made that phone call, the desire to sell the house started to drift away. Circumstances with some of our neighbors started leading me to think that perhaps we aren’t done here yet. Connections made in the days prior to our meeting led me to believe that God had another plan.

Right before the realtor arrived, I asked Keith if we should just call him and cancel. Not really thinking we should do that, we both decided to at least meet with him and see what he had to say. He indeed turned out to be the great guy that everyone had told us he was, and we even found that there might have been other reasons for our meeting besides the talk of selling our home. We were able to be up front and honest with him, and he encouraged us to just wait and pray. Now that is my kind of realtor!! Since our meeting, I feel like the desire to move has been decreasing and that God has given me more of a desire to stay until His work in our neighborhood is completed. I have to admit that when I first felt Him saying to wait before selling the house, I was a bit upset and did not understand why. As the days have gone on, I am becoming more comfortable with the idea and with the promise that HE WILL take care of us. He knows our financial needs, but He also knows the needs around us. He knows that we humanly have a desire to go on a vacation, but He also knows that we are willing to give up a vacation to be used to help someone else. He sees the big picture, and we will just trust Him.

Sorry for doubting at first, Lord. But, I am hearing you now!! Show us even more how to love our neighbors.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Control??

This past week, I have been going back and forth with God over my relinquishing control to Him. As I said in my previous post, I have a tendency to give something to God and then take it back. I am a good planner, organizer, etc. and sometimes think I can take care of things better than God. Obviously I know this is not true; however, convincing my humanness of this is the hard part.
Last night, I told God that I was frustrated. I mean, He already knows it, why not verbally tell Him? When I pray for direction not only do I want the answer now, but I want the answer that I want now. So, there is this constant battle within my spirit where I am trying to trust God and wait on His timing. The church sign down the road from our house says, “God is never in a hurry and is never late.” As we have passed it several times this past week or so, I have to take it as a reminder that God’s timing is best. He is answering my prayers, but the answer may just be “wait” for now.
As I continue on this journey, I will continue to work on allowing God to control my life and not trying to figure out what I can do to help Him. As things come up that I cannot fix, that I cannot control, then I need to give them to the ONE who can fix them; to the ONE who is in control. He can take care of everything, He can do the impossible. He is a miracle working God and a protecting God. He is Jehovah Jirah –my provider. He will provide for my needs and for the needs of those around me. In the meantime, I need to focus only on my relationship and communion with Him. And, as He puts people in my path, I need to reach out to them – something else He has been convicting me of. More on that later…

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Abiding in Christ

I have been reading in the book of John lately during my time with God. I have also been reading “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers every morning at work. It is amazing, but shouldn’t be surprising, to me how God can use both of these to speak to the issues I am facing. Do you know the feeling when it is like God is hitting you on the head with the brick that you prayed for; it just isn’t the red brick that you wanted? You prefer a more burgundy brick…

Well, that is how I have felt this past week. Keith and I have been praying for direction in several areas of our lives, and we have been asking God for clear direction. Well, I myself expected God to give me clear direction – instead He has given me something else. Through my reading this week, it seems that God is revealing to me that when I ask for clear direction and pray for that I need to ‘let it go’. Well, go figure! I am probably the only one who prays about something and then tries to figure it out on my own, right?

God has really nudged me with this thought over the past few days. I can pray for direction, I can ask Him to clarify His will for me, but then I need to let it go and let Him work. He doesn’t need my help in figuring out His will for my life. This is where the leaning on Him comes in. This is tough to do, but what He is asking me to do is to come to Him and abide in Him, no matter my circumstances. I am going to work on this, and I am going to use the encouragement I got today from my Oswald Chambers reading.
Think of the things that take you out of the position of abiding in Christ. You say, "Yes, Lord, just a minute— I still have this to do. Yes, I will abide as soon as this is finished, or as soon as this week is over. It will be all right, Lord. I will abide then." Get moving— begin to abide now. In the initial stages it will be a continual effort to abide, but as you continue, it will become so much a part of your life that you will abide in Him without any conscious effort. Make the determination to abide in Jesus wherever you are now or wherever you may be placed in the future.
How awesome to think that one day I will abide in Christ without any conscious effort! Thank you, Lord, for speaking to me. Help me to learn to lean, help me to abide in you!!
If you would like to read “My Utmost for His Highest” online, just follow the link below. You can add it to your favorites, and the page will update everyday. Let me know what you think.
http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php

Monday, June 9, 2008

Enjoying the Journey??

So, why use the phrase "enjoying the journey"? "Enjoy the Journey" is a statement that my husband has used for quite some time now. It is a reminder to us that even when things are not necessarily going the way we think they should, we are still on a journey that is growing us closer to the Lord and closer to one another.
Life is one big journey, and some days are easier than others to "enjoy" that journey. However, when you think of it in a spiritual context, it brings things into perspective. When I accepted Jesus as my Savior, there wasn't a magic wand that declared my life to be easy from that day forward. But, there was the Holy Spirit that came into my life (John 14) to guide and direct my journey. When things are not what I wish they were, when there are decisions to be made, bridges to cross, a path to be chosen, etc., there is someone there to help me; someone who will never leave me or forsake me. That is encouraging.
As Keith and I continue to seek God's will for our lives, it is freeing to know that God has a plan, He knows the path on this journey, and He just wants us to learn to lean on Him and trust...This is easier said than done, but I am willing to go for it!! I want to trust God's plan and desire for my life, and I want to follow Him. I want to strive to enjoy this journey even when I have to relinquish control (which is not in my nature)and trust Him to lay out the path before me.
So, here is to learning to lean and enjoying the journey!!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Hello Blog World

Well, here I go...entering the blogosphere after much encouragement from my cousin and others. I cannot promise that what I write will have much to offer or if I will be the best at posting weekly, much less daily, but I want to give this a try. I hope that I can use this blog to encourage and build up others. I want to share my life, my thoughts, and my anxieties in the hopes that it might help someone else. I will set out with that as my goal. For now I will sign off, but I look forward to this new venture!