Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Update on me…what am I dealing with right now??? hhmm

It has been a while since my last real post. Not sure there is any real reason for it besides just not always knowing how to articulate what I am feeling or going through. In the past month, there have been different feelings; different seasons of life, I guess you could say.

About a month ago, I read The Shack. This book really touched my heart and has brought me in for a second read through. In an effort to not give details away to those who haven’t read it, I will just say that there are some lessons contained within that I can learn from. This book was probably the clincher to a culmination of events and circumstances that have occurred over the past 5 months, and it has served as an encouragement towards goals that have been set over the course.

Basically, as I said in an earlier post, I want to go deeper in my walk with the Lord. I want my relationship with God to ‘click’ (as I have described it to people) like my relationships with others ‘clicks’. Don’t ask me to explain what this means, because ‘click’ was the only word I could come up with my blog buddies… I guess it is just something that God and I will just have to understand together. But in the meantime, you can pray for me, as Keith does, and just use the word ‘click’ since God knows what I need. For now, I can offer this as further insight. I look at other people who seem so confident in Him and I want that. I know that I shouldn’t compare myself to others in that way since I really don’t know what is on the inside/what’s in their hearts, but I do sense a confidence about them regarding their relationship with Him. I hear them pray, “Come quickly Lord. How I want to be in your presence”. And, I think, “Give me more time Lord, I am not ready yet to be in your presence.” Does that make ANY sense at all? Basically, I have been asking God to reveal Himself to me; to show me that he loves me and cares about me, to give me that unwavering confidence in our relationship, and to get me to where He wants me to be.

So, that is where I am; what I am dealing with right now. Until later, MG